clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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