This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
