I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
