I'm going to jail i love you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
