Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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