you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I enjoy the company of your penis
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
