dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
