I can't watch pbs sober anymore
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I want her autograph on my taint
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
