The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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