Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
