i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
