bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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