Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
