If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
