I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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