Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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