whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
