is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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