so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
