I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize