I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize