drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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