i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
