i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
