my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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