Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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