What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
