dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
