I just cut my nipple shaving
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
