so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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