i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
