Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
