Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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