Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
