Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wish I only lived at night.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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