Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize