Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize