I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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