I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
