4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
