Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize