yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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