I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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