I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
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The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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