Texts From Last Night

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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.

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  (910): We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works. http://tfl.nu/uib3
  Replies (45) Good night (5856) Bad night (1311)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.

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  (647): Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces. http://tfl.nu/p5uv
  Replies (28) Good night (651) Bad night (6139)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day

  (240): View more from Maryland

  hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine

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  (301): i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day (240): hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine http://tfl.nu/f8k7
  Replies (10) Good night (4267) Bad night (1019)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"

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  (914): The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner" http://tfl.nu/76ix
  Replies (11) Good night (5979) Bad night (2068)
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  (925): View more from California

  We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous

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  (925): We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous http://tfl.nu/vmkf
  Replies (62) Good night (1002) Bad night (6933)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?

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  (240): He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half? http://tfl.nu/4690
  Replies (48) Good night (4214) Bad night (1482)
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  (212): View more from New York

  It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.

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  (212): It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls. http://tfl.nu/fa0p
  Replies (24) Good night (5669) Bad night (1086)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home

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  (484): hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home http://tfl.nu/2xw9
  Replies (8) Good night (3876) Bad night (1138)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.

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  (401): He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year. http://tfl.nu/48dx
  Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (1201)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...

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  (646): I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies... http://tfl.nu/y6hf
  Replies (8) Good night (1923) Bad night (663)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.

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  (+44): That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard. http://tfl.nu/cdhm
  Replies (20) Good night (4919) Bad night (839)
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  (914): View more from New York

  When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.

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  (914): When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked. http://tfl.nu/4q7m
  Replies (5) Good night (2200) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  The pinata full of drugs?

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  (443): What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing? (1-443): The pinata full of drugs? http://tfl.nu/09ic
  Replies (6) Good night (990) Bad night (348)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.

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  (727): Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension. http://tfl.nu/xvwt
  Replies (5) Good night (569) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Cat or human?

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Human

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  (563): I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one. (262): Cat or human? (563): Human http://tfl.nu/rvyr
  Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (180)

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