Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You're a womanizer and a bitch.

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  (248): You're a womanizer and a bitch. http://tfl.nu/wf0c
  Replies (1) Good night (1143) Bad night (1165)
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  (805): View more from California

  My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.

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  (805): My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping. http://tfl.nu/dvm6
  Replies (10) Good night (904) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.

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  (856): its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer. (978): college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you. http://tfl.nu/udtk
  Replies (45) Good night (4657) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker

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  (330): She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker http://tfl.nu/3dfg
  Replies (36) Good night (891) Bad night (5375)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I love watching others lives come down to our level.

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  (952): I love watching others lives come down to our level. http://tfl.nu/pfmq
  Replies (5) Good night (4161) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.

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  (641): Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that. http://tfl.nu/2jzp
  Replies (27) Good night (9052) Bad night (3489)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.

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  (216): Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was. http://tfl.nu/ift5
  Replies (16) Good night (6117) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete

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  (484): maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete http://tfl.nu/m91r
  Replies (10) Good night (3972) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?

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  (610): I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show? http://tfl.nu/56pk
  Replies (28) Good night (4257) Bad night (2326)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.

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  (416): Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender. http://tfl.nu/ts7y
  Replies (8) Good night (1273) Bad night (4083)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.

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  (802): It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic. http://tfl.nu/v71x
  Replies (7) Good night (2523) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.

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  (603): Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me. http://tfl.nu/xrxi
  Replies (2) Good night (427) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.

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  (212): Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing. http://tfl.nu/bv2c
  Replies (1) Good night (654) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...

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  (215): You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected... http://tfl.nu/3okc
  Replies (0) Good night (601) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right

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  (+44): Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right http://tfl.nu/y3am
  Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (306)

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