just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.