Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
so much tequila, so little girl.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
