they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I woke up under a house in Key West
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
