She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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