the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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