He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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