just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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