My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
