In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize