Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize