Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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