She is in my trunk
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
