Moan for me like Helen Keller
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
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Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
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PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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