I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
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I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize