Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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