She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
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